Because we all need a little chocolate

Tonight I stomped to my fridge, pulled out a bar of Cadbury's Milk Chocolate Mint Crisp that my cousins brought over from South Africa for me and said, "I AM GOING TO EAT THIS WHOLE BAR OF CHOCOLATE!"  I snapped off the first row and ate the first square and then felt a massive wave of guilt.  I ended up eating two rows - 20 grams which equals about 100 calories - and putting the rest back.

But it got me thinking.  We are all going to need a lot of chocolate to get through the uncertain future that now faces us, so I thought it was only right I share my very best brownie recipe as a gesture of goodwill.

Knock You Naked Brownies

 

 

1 package German chocolate cake mix (18.5 oz)[ I use Devil's Food cake]

1 cup chopped nuts

1/3 cup + 1/2 cup evaporated milk-divided

1/2 cup melted butter

60 vanilla caramels unwrapped (one 14 oz package) [ I use less, you 

can't get that size package now]

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

PARCHMENT PAPER

 

 

In a large mixing bowl, combine dry cake mix, nuts, 1/3 cup 

evaporated milk and melted butter. Press half of the batter into the 

bottom of a greased 13x9x2 inch glass baking dish (line with parchment paper first). Bake in a 

preheated 350 degree oven for eight minutes.

In the microwave or top of a double boiler melt caramels with 

remaining 1/2 cup evaporated milk. When caramel mixture is well 

mixed, pour over baked layer. Cover with chocolate chips. Chill for 

about an hour or until the caramel is hard. Press the remaining 

batter on top of morsels. Return to oven and bake 28 minutes (or less 

for gooier brownies). Let cool before cutting.

 

Note: This recipe supposedly originated at the Salt Creek Restaraunt 

in Breckenridge, Colorado.

I love these things.  And the refrigeration time definitely is important if you want nice smooth layers and ooey, gooey brownies!

Last Day of Classes (Ever)

It was only when I sat down at work this morning and looked at my calendar to make sure I'm on top of things that I realized not only is today the last day of classes for this semester (which means I get a little more time to focus on writing my final papers and studying for my final exams, oh, plus that little thesis thing) but it's (Gods willing) my last day of (academic) classes EVER!

I have been in school since I was 5 years old.  I am now 28 - turning 29 in 4 weeks - and only just now finishing the *class* portion of my life.  Still have to finish the thesis and do the ridiculous paperwork and Trail of Ludicrous Hurdles and Hoops(TM) before I can graduate, but knowing I'm "done" with classes forever is a wonderful and strange feeling.

Sure, this means that the pressure is on to get a "real job" where I won't have summer or winter vacations, no spring break, and I hear you start with something measly like 10 vacation/sick days combined for a full year...but to only have ONE job with ONE boss (instead of three classes with three professors and a thesis chair who all think they should be your #1 priority, plus your boss because you're not rich and can't survive without three jobs on the side) with ONE set of goals per month/year/period...sounds heavenly!

Of course it'll be difficult.  Duh.  Just not as difficult as grad school.  For the record, anyone who says they enjoyed grad school are either masochists, lying, delusional, or have forgotten what it's really like.  Or they got a crap degree at a crap university and never had to suffer for it.

My to-do list has gotten so short.  Tantalizingly short, in fact.  Of course "study for tests" takes more than one day, so it's going to stay on there until the tests are taken, but it WILL be off in a week or so.  Same with my essays.  And I have this weekend completely free from work or projects or anything!  I can curl up in my snuggly flannels inside my thermal sleeping bag (because I'm miserly as all get out and keep my thermostat at 65F) and type to my little heart's content without having to venture outside into the rain and chill predicted for the next two weeks, or really, venture any farther than the bathroom or the kitchen for a glass of water.

I can't wait for Christmas!

Sunday Done-day

I'm done.

Not with work, or the million things I have to do, or the ten million things I want to do.  Today, I'm just done.

I've been good - I got up in time, made breakfast from scratch, prepped my lunch, biked to work, got here and got everything ready in plenty of time for the noon opening.  And now I've been doing some freelance stuff because I'm broke and need the extra cash...but I'm tired.  I don't want to work anymore, and I resent that I have to work two freelance gigs on top of my day job to pay the bills.

I just want to sit here, keep one eye on the monitors, and daydream about impossible things; winning the lotto, spending a month in Naples, driving an Alfa Romeo down the Amalfi drive, seeing Carnivale in Brazil, the northern lights in Alaska, Incan pyramids and Egyptian ones, to dive for pearls in Hawaii and trek to the North Pole in their summer.

But what I should do is work, or I won't have a chance of making *any* of that become reality.  Blah.  How I hate growing up!

Saturday Blues

It's pretty pathetic how brain chemistry can ruin a perfectly good day.

I woke up late, made an omelet for breakfast, went grocery shopping, came home and did laundry, had lunch, cleaned the whole apartment, cleaned a bunch of candleholders, went to the shops again, fixed a stained costume, made dinner, and carved a pumpkin.

And I still feel like shit.

The Next Peak

If you are ever so minded, you should read L. M. Montgomery's "Emily" series.  The first is "Emily of New Moon", the second "Emily Climbs" and the final book is "Emily's Quest". 

I've read them all so often I can't remember where any of them ends and begins (except perhaps for the first beginning and the final ending), but a recurring theme is that as she grows as a young woman and as a writer she reaches peak after peak on the "Alpine Path".  The Alpine Path is basically a dreamscape where with every achievement and her growing mastery of her art she has climbed a new level and gets to walk along a plateau for a bit before having to struggle upwards to the next peak.  She observes that you can never reach the top, but when you crest a plateau you get a wonderful feeling of achievement and exhilaration that helps you onward and upward during the hard times.

Today I got an email.  That's not the exciting part; I probably get well over 100 emails daily (it drives me insane!) and while probably 80 of them I get to delete, 10 I have to read and the last 10 require I do yet more work on something or other.  No, the exciting part is that today, among emails about university clubs, semester progress reports, sales at Target, and cheap Texan health insurance, I got an email saying I've been accepted as a sportswriter for Planet Benfica.

And may I say, the view from this peak is glorious.

Minor Set Back

I was doing so well with my blogs and then I got bronchitis - not that I knew that at the time! - and it all went to hell.

I finally gave in and went to the doctor on Friday after three weeks of coughing and hurting and generally suffering and she pretty much took one look at me, listened to me breathe for five seconds and said, "Bronchitis."  Gave me scripts for prednisone and antibiotics and told me to pick up some Mucinex DM, to take all my prescribed medicine or else, and if I was still shitty a week or so after finishing them I could make another appointment.

I finished the antibiotics today, finish the prednisone tomorrow, and guess I should remember to take my damn Mucinex twice a day instead of once.  I still feel like shit.  In fact, I almost feel worse than I did when I first got sick, minus the fever and headache.  I don't know if it's the drugs or what, but she warned me there would be nasty side effects and holy smoke she wasn't kidding.  Been shaky and exhausted and definitely got the paranoia one hardcore.

Went to RenFest on Sunday, and although I was very good and only had one beer, sat down and rested frequently, kept in the shade as much as possible, and drank 7 bottles of water, I was completely knackered by the time I got home (after sleeping in!) and spent all Sunday night and most of Monday on the couch, half-asleep in a bronchitis-induced stupor.  Yesterday the only things I really accomplished were cooking the week's meals, going for a walk, and having a shower!

Today I've gotten some important things done, and hope to do more this evening.  But I at least have enough wisdom now to stop and rest when I start shaking or feeling like hell.  The harder I push at those low-energy moments, the longer I'm going to feel awful.

I kind of wish I'd stayed home today too, but I need the $$, and this job is not physically taxing, and sitting quietly in class and taking notes shouldn't kill me either.  (...shouldn't...)  Thankfully, all my work can be done on the sofa with my laptop, and at the most, with a few extra books lying around me.  PLUS I have enough prepped food to last me all week, so that's one big stress-er off my back. 

I keep telling myself it's smart to do the slowly-but-surely thing now.  Let my body relax.  I have to go to Houston on Friday and that'll be tiring, and I work all Saturday, but at least work is not physically taxing like I said earlier.  And this Sunday I am going to lie on that couch like I'm a Victorian woman with smelling salts clutched in her feeble hand.

Because I bloody well can!

IT'S AUTUMN!

There's been a faint feeling of autumn in the air, but tonight I just went out to check the mail and it was COOL outside!!  So I asked Alexa what the temperature was and when she said 71F I immediately ran around my apartment opening windows.  My thermostat is set at 79F but my apartment is filling with cool, sweet-smelling air and dispersing a summer's worth of cooking smells.

This week has busted my ass bigtime.  Take today for example:

7:00 am - Get up.
7:30 am - Make breakfast from scratch. (Omelet with bell pepper, onion and feta cheese.)
8:05 am - Walk out of house on way to bus.
8:30 am - Arrive on campus.
8:45 am - Let self into work, begin opening gallery.
1:00 pm - Leave work. 
1:05 pm - Eat lunch.
1:30 pm - Stop by library to pick up books.
2:20 pm - Class starts.
3:35 pm - Class ends.
3:50 pm - Class starts.
5:10 pm - Class ends.
5:20 pm - Meeting with semester project group that *I* am in charge of. (Seriously. How'd I get suckered into that?)
5:45 pm - Meeting over, take bus home.
6:10 pm - Cook dinner.  Eat.
6:45 pm - Develop GANTT chart for one semester project.
7:45 pm - Email group chart.  Divvy up proposal responsibilities.
8:00 pm - Download raw data for semester project.
8:10 pm - Wash dishes.  Practice vocal exercises while cleaning.
8:20 pm - Put insurance card in car. Check mail.

I am now writing this blog as a mental break.  I need to develop a second GANTT chart and mail that off to my project partner for my *other* semester project (that I am also lead on!).  I need to create a dropbox file for the database class group and upload sets of images to it (each of us gets a set to be responsible for until the end when we use our best model on the entire bunch).  I need to upload a bunch of ESRI stuff to my virtual machine.  I need to study for the two midterms I have on Thursday.  I need to write another page of my thesis (trying to do a page a day right now), and find a couple more sources.  I need to render a couple more artifacts for my thesis as well.  I need to send off my novel again, and write 100 more words of fiction.

I've started a new system where I do a small amount of big things every day.  The (at least) 100 words of fiction, sending off my novel daily, one page of thesis and a couple artifacts daily, and a couple other things are all part of it.  In one way it's awesome.  Because I'm really getting stuff done and it's in manageable chunks.  On the other hand, I have SO MUCH to do every day and I'm going a little crazy.  Right now I just want to sleep because I'm exhausted (was passing out in my later class...was literally pinching myself and pressing my nails into my arm so I would wake up), but if I sleep now that means there's a CRAP TON more I have to do tomorrow.

Tomorrow is going to suck anyway because on top of my regular shift at the downstairs gallery I picked up an evening shift too so I'm only going to leave campus around 8:00 pm (going to have to bike too, because the buses go once an hour, on the hour, at that time of night).  Fortunately my meal planning excel spreadsheet worked its magic, because I have two prepped meals ready to go in my fridge; once for when I get home at 3:30 for an hour or two to get some work done, and once for 8:20 when I get home exhausted and ready to cry myself to sleep because I'm so tired and I'll have missed a whole day of potential Luke Cage watching.

Ugh.  Back to the grind.  I'll do as much as I can, but when my body starts shutting down, tonight I'll just stop.  I didn't last night, and that's why today was so goddamn difficult!