Four days ago it was so hot I was lying still with all my windows open, praying for a breath of air. Today it's so chilly that I'm here in my dressing gown, with socks, with the windows closed (but blinds open). The sky outside is fading to pastels you never see in summer, as if the brightness belongs to the summer, and autumn brings softness with change.
My ears are killing me, my back hurts, my head hurts, and my throat and lungs feel funny. I hope I get better soon, I can't afford to get bronchitis a fourth time while I'm out here!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Autumn = Change
I awoke at 5:56 am this morning, with a curious feeling that something was fundamentally different about that moment. It was quiet; cars hadn't yet begun rushing down the street towards the highway, my apartment was dark, and the complex lights were still shining through the gap between my ceiling and the top of my blinds.
Then, a sound made me leap out of bed, run to my door, and wrench it open to find that was RAINING! Despite my shoeless and thinly-clad state I stepped out onto the balcony into the chilly downpour, reaching out to catch raindrops in my hands.
Unromantically, I began to sneeze and went inside. But I think I slept a little better having seen some rain for the first time in probably ten months.
This morning I was good, got up when my alarm went off, took out the trash, checked the mail, etc etc. I have an appointment for later today and then it's back to the grind.
When my alarm went off, I wrapped myself in my dressing gown and ventured to peek outside. The air wasn't icy, but it had a crisp, chilly tang that makes me think it - and last night's rain - came down from the mountains instead of in over the sea. The sky is bright, although there are still a lot of clouds on the horizon, and I could see the outlines of the mountains from my balcony. All the colors seemed crisper and everything looked damp and freshly washed, the breeze so gentle the leaves on the trees barely fluttered.
I miss my family.
Then, a sound made me leap out of bed, run to my door, and wrench it open to find that was RAINING! Despite my shoeless and thinly-clad state I stepped out onto the balcony into the chilly downpour, reaching out to catch raindrops in my hands.
Unromantically, I began to sneeze and went inside. But I think I slept a little better having seen some rain for the first time in probably ten months.
This morning I was good, got up when my alarm went off, took out the trash, checked the mail, etc etc. I have an appointment for later today and then it's back to the grind.
When my alarm went off, I wrapped myself in my dressing gown and ventured to peek outside. The air wasn't icy, but it had a crisp, chilly tang that makes me think it - and last night's rain - came down from the mountains instead of in over the sea. The sky is bright, although there are still a lot of clouds on the horizon, and I could see the outlines of the mountains from my balcony. All the colors seemed crisper and everything looked damp and freshly washed, the breeze so gentle the leaves on the trees barely fluttered.
I miss my family.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Pumpkin time
Progression of a pumpkin:
Original pumpkin.
The inner workings.
Cut up into chunks.
The cooked pieces.
Seeds for Mom.
Pretty yummy.
My dinner last Friday night. It was so worth every calorie.
My life is still a shambles, hence why I haven't been posting. Applied for three new jobs today. Utterly desperate.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Little Tidbits
Been pretty busy trying to get my life in some semblance of order. So this is going to be a slightly random post.
First off: here are some of the delicious dinners I've had lately:
These are my bacon-onion-cheddar "sandwiches". YUM!
And surprisingly, not terrible for you, because I trim a lot of fat off the bacon, and cook a whole rasher with four large onions, so it's mostly onion, but delicious onion. And it's so filling!
Seriously, I trim a LOT of the fat.
Was on a breakfast-for-dinner kick and bought $5 of breakfast steak, resulting in meals such as this:
I got a lot of meals out of that $5 so I'm pretty proud -
I made a LOT of chicken soup the other week:
When I say a lot, I mean a LOT!
I also made some ribs the same day as the chicken soup, because they were on sale -
Last month I made a lot of Mexican food, and invented the "taco pita", which is strangely delicious and really easy to put together quickly:
Two months ago I had a LOVELY steak and I just want to share its awesomeness, in case I haven't already.
Okay, now that the picture part of the post is over. I really haven't been doing anything exciting lately. Still swimming, but not every day because it's hell on my hair. So I bought a bottle of strengthening conditioner ($1.19 at CVS) and I'm combing it into my hair AFTER I get out of the shower. I figure it's worth a shot, especially for just about a dollar. I'll keep you updated on its effectiveness.
Dr. Lipo has been sending me critiques that I can really use now, so I think I'm getting somewhere - especially with Brian's help. Nothing like friends that you can really, really count on! But I basically get up in the morning, eat something, check my email and get myself sorted for the day, and then get to work on what I'm doing with my life. Dr. Lipo just sent me another critique today, so I think I'll look at it again once I'm done with this post, let it stew in my brain while I clean, cook, and then watch Project Runway, and have a go at a rewrite once PR is done. Then I'll look at it again tomorrow morning.
Little interjection here - I hate vacuuming. HATE IT!!
Okay...yeah. I really do hate vacuuming though. I love my Swiffer - keeps my tiny kitchen in good order, although my linoleum always looks dirty, no matter how thoroughly I clean it. Maybe lye would make it squeaky clean, but I'm not that anal-retentive. And I have to clean my stove...ugh, maybe I can put that off. I had to buy Draino (or however you spell it) to clear the clogs in my shower. It's SUCH a relief to shower without having an inch or two of water around my ankles! Now I just have to wait a week or two and buy a couple Mr. Clean Erasers and scrub-a-dub-dub my kitchen and my bathroom into sparkling submission.
I'm glad football is back on, it's taking my mind off things and I feel a little less stressed about life in general even if I'm still broke, jobless, and in a really tough spot. If only I could sell Rebecca...getting a book published would be such a mental lift, even if the $$ isn't luxurious. Then again, I can't even afford beer, so even a $ would feel luxurious right about now!
Weight loss is pretty meh. I'm almost the same weight every time I weigh myself (I mean, I do swing 3 pounds this way and that, but that happens if you weigh yourself daily), and no matter how closely I keep my Livestrong account, and swimming and walking and strolling (and pacing my apartment for hours) doesn't seem to help all that much. I've been dieting more (and less) seriously for a year now and only lost ten-fifteen pounds tops. I don't want to take four years to lose the remaining forty!!
I guess I should go back to smoothies, but they're not great for winter food, and the weather is cooling already so it'll be chilly soon.
Okay it's 4 pm. I have to start cleaning so I can cook at 5 and eat at 6. Trying to get on a "normal" schedule for eating and sleeping, instead of having breakfast at 1 pm and dinner at 3 am.
First off: here are some of the delicious dinners I've had lately:
These are my bacon-onion-cheddar "sandwiches". YUM!
And surprisingly, not terrible for you, because I trim a lot of fat off the bacon, and cook a whole rasher with four large onions, so it's mostly onion, but delicious onion. And it's so filling!
Seriously, I trim a LOT of the fat.
Was on a breakfast-for-dinner kick and bought $5 of breakfast steak, resulting in meals such as this:
I got a lot of meals out of that $5 so I'm pretty proud -
I made a LOT of chicken soup the other week:
When I say a lot, I mean a LOT!
I also made some ribs the same day as the chicken soup, because they were on sale -
Last month I made a lot of Mexican food, and invented the "taco pita", which is strangely delicious and really easy to put together quickly:
Two months ago I had a LOVELY steak and I just want to share its awesomeness, in case I haven't already.
Okay, now that the picture part of the post is over. I really haven't been doing anything exciting lately. Still swimming, but not every day because it's hell on my hair. So I bought a bottle of strengthening conditioner ($1.19 at CVS) and I'm combing it into my hair AFTER I get out of the shower. I figure it's worth a shot, especially for just about a dollar. I'll keep you updated on its effectiveness.
Dr. Lipo has been sending me critiques that I can really use now, so I think I'm getting somewhere - especially with Brian's help. Nothing like friends that you can really, really count on! But I basically get up in the morning, eat something, check my email and get myself sorted for the day, and then get to work on what I'm doing with my life. Dr. Lipo just sent me another critique today, so I think I'll look at it again once I'm done with this post, let it stew in my brain while I clean, cook, and then watch Project Runway, and have a go at a rewrite once PR is done. Then I'll look at it again tomorrow morning.
Little interjection here - I hate vacuuming. HATE IT!!
Okay...yeah. I really do hate vacuuming though. I love my Swiffer - keeps my tiny kitchen in good order, although my linoleum always looks dirty, no matter how thoroughly I clean it. Maybe lye would make it squeaky clean, but I'm not that anal-retentive. And I have to clean my stove...ugh, maybe I can put that off. I had to buy Draino (or however you spell it) to clear the clogs in my shower. It's SUCH a relief to shower without having an inch or two of water around my ankles! Now I just have to wait a week or two and buy a couple Mr. Clean Erasers and scrub-a-dub-dub my kitchen and my bathroom into sparkling submission.
I'm glad football is back on, it's taking my mind off things and I feel a little less stressed about life in general even if I'm still broke, jobless, and in a really tough spot. If only I could sell Rebecca...getting a book published would be such a mental lift, even if the $$ isn't luxurious. Then again, I can't even afford beer, so even a $ would feel luxurious right about now!
Weight loss is pretty meh. I'm almost the same weight every time I weigh myself (I mean, I do swing 3 pounds this way and that, but that happens if you weigh yourself daily), and no matter how closely I keep my Livestrong account, and swimming and walking and strolling (and pacing my apartment for hours) doesn't seem to help all that much. I've been dieting more (and less) seriously for a year now and only lost ten-fifteen pounds tops. I don't want to take four years to lose the remaining forty!!
I guess I should go back to smoothies, but they're not great for winter food, and the weather is cooling already so it'll be chilly soon.
Okay it's 4 pm. I have to start cleaning so I can cook at 5 and eat at 6. Trying to get on a "normal" schedule for eating and sleeping, instead of having breakfast at 1 pm and dinner at 3 am.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Workin' hard
Happy Wednesday everybody! Despite everything that's happened, today was actually quite a good day.
Last night I stayed up til 5 am, trying to work on my novels, but didn't get much done. I was tired, miserable, and desperate. Let's face it, I'm broke (got a couple hundred or so in my bank account if I'm lucky), no job, no boyfriend, and my thesis has begun to assume the proportions of King Arthur's Quest for the Holy Grail.
Today I got out of bed at 11 am, tired, grumpy, and convinced that life was drab and gray and useless. I turned on the computer, and FINALLY my professors had gotten back to me! Well, two of them. Dr. LeMaster told me where to register for GS700 (basically, you're a grad student done with classes, but need to be registered as a student for various reasons) and Dr. Lipo with corrections for the stuff I sent him two weeks ago. And thank heaven, they were real critiques that I can understand, and I've already started rewriting it, and feeling much better about the whole thing.
I went down to campus, registered for GS700 (had to put the $351.00 on my credit card, and beg Mom and Dad to pay it when the payment is due in a couple weeks), and walked home in the broiling hot sun - okay it was only 85F, but that's a lot when you're walking a mile to the Foundation Building and a mile back! I went swimming, and only swam for half an hour, but it was worth it. Mostly because I only got a little bit of sunburn on my nose and face even though I forgot to put on sunscreen.
Then I came upstairs, showered, and started writing (re-writing?) my statement for Dr. Lipo, and made sausages for dinner. I did the dishes while they were cooking, so now I only have my dinner plate and the frying pan in the sink.
Now I have Restaurant Impossible on tv, and am taking a mental break by working on Rebecca for an hour or so, and then I'll go stew over my statement again. Rinse, lather, and repeat.
So I'm going to keep jobhunting, because even if I leave soon it'll make me feel better to DO something about my penniless condition, and if I don't get to leave soon...well I'd much rather have a job, you know?? And I have a date Friday, which I'm almost afraid to be excited about in case he cancels.
My new mantra about grad school is: How would I eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
Last night I stayed up til 5 am, trying to work on my novels, but didn't get much done. I was tired, miserable, and desperate. Let's face it, I'm broke (got a couple hundred or so in my bank account if I'm lucky), no job, no boyfriend, and my thesis has begun to assume the proportions of King Arthur's Quest for the Holy Grail.
Today I got out of bed at 11 am, tired, grumpy, and convinced that life was drab and gray and useless. I turned on the computer, and FINALLY my professors had gotten back to me! Well, two of them. Dr. LeMaster told me where to register for GS700 (basically, you're a grad student done with classes, but need to be registered as a student for various reasons) and Dr. Lipo with corrections for the stuff I sent him two weeks ago. And thank heaven, they were real critiques that I can understand, and I've already started rewriting it, and feeling much better about the whole thing.
I went down to campus, registered for GS700 (had to put the $351.00 on my credit card, and beg Mom and Dad to pay it when the payment is due in a couple weeks), and walked home in the broiling hot sun - okay it was only 85F, but that's a lot when you're walking a mile to the Foundation Building and a mile back! I went swimming, and only swam for half an hour, but it was worth it. Mostly because I only got a little bit of sunburn on my nose and face even though I forgot to put on sunscreen.
Then I came upstairs, showered, and started writing (re-writing?) my statement for Dr. Lipo, and made sausages for dinner. I did the dishes while they were cooking, so now I only have my dinner plate and the frying pan in the sink.
Now I have Restaurant Impossible on tv, and am taking a mental break by working on Rebecca for an hour or so, and then I'll go stew over my statement again. Rinse, lather, and repeat.
So I'm going to keep jobhunting, because even if I leave soon it'll make me feel better to DO something about my penniless condition, and if I don't get to leave soon...well I'd much rather have a job, you know?? And I have a date Friday, which I'm almost afraid to be excited about in case he cancels.
My new mantra about grad school is: How would I eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Curiosity
Sorry I haven't been posting much lately...trying to work on my novels and failing miserably. Doing what little I can on my thesis while Dr. Lipo is still on vacation.
But tonight I watched the JPL stream of the Curiosity landing, and man, it just brought me to tears. I remember Dad telling me about Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. I also remember Dad saying the guy after him said, "Well, it may have been a small step for Neil, but it's a giant leap for me!"
Of course, I get to follow Curiosity on Twitter, and we got live updates with only a 14 minute lag (only 14 minutes!!!!)...but still. There is no comparison between the two, other than that they are giant leaps for understanding and science.
When I heard "touchdown confirmed" I just burst into tears...I really am the world's biggest crybaby. But the emotion from JPL! The Ustream I was watching was from inside the JPL lab and the looks on their faces...probably the look on my face if I ever found the lost kingdom of Atlantis!
Someone on one of the forums I'm on posted this, and it made me cry again, but it's also true:
I guess it makes sense that that is what's changed in America since I've been here. Because it really has...my generation is just as much a lost generation as was Hemingway's expats in Paris. Only who is our Hemingway? And what are we going to do about it?
But tonight I watched the JPL stream of the Curiosity landing, and man, it just brought me to tears. I remember Dad telling me about Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. I also remember Dad saying the guy after him said, "Well, it may have been a small step for Neil, but it's a giant leap for me!"
Of course, I get to follow Curiosity on Twitter, and we got live updates with only a 14 minute lag (only 14 minutes!!!!)...but still. There is no comparison between the two, other than that they are giant leaps for understanding and science.
When I heard "touchdown confirmed" I just burst into tears...I really am the world's biggest crybaby. But the emotion from JPL! The Ustream I was watching was from inside the JPL lab and the looks on their faces...probably the look on my face if I ever found the lost kingdom of Atlantis!
Someone on one of the forums I'm on posted this, and it made me cry again, but it's also true:
I guess it makes sense that that is what's changed in America since I've been here. Because it really has...my generation is just as much a lost generation as was Hemingway's expats in Paris. Only who is our Hemingway? And what are we going to do about it?
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