I've had a hell of a day. Miserable. Did some painting. Meant to start working on my new dress but somehow I couldn't. Table's all set up and ready for me to start cutting and pinning and basting but somehow I just can't get myself in order.
I have to get up early tomorrow and get stuff done. I hope I actually get it done. I've been a mess these past few days, but somehow when other people point that out I want to punch them. I think it's because they act like they've never had a single problem in their entire lives and it's just me being a failure for struggling. I hate them. We all have problems, own it, you bloody cowards!
People make me sick. Maybe once I sleep I'll feel better. Maybe once this semester is over I'll feel better. 37 days until I get to be with my family.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Midday Grump
I overslept like woah today and it ruined all my plans for today. I made it to campus in time for class (will start in a few minutes), and even brought an armload of books to return to the library, so those are tiny positives.
But I NEED to get a massive load of work done in the next week and I feel quite ill at the thought of it. Thanksgiving will spell me a breather in some ways, but not enough. Plus I don't get to be home with my family which is an instant bummer anyway. PLUS I work on Thanksgiving (volunteered because I felt guilty that if I didn't work, a coworker who DOES have family they can go to wouldn't be able to...plus I wanted the holiday pay so I could afford my Christmas tree), AND I apparently have to work Black Friday too! I was told I get my choice of shift, but the schedule is being made up today and no one asked me yesterday so I assume I await the store's pleasure. Gah!
After class I need to run home, put down my stuff, grab other stuff, download some papers to my tablet, rush off to do some errands, and make it to the Scholarship Meeting in a timely manner. Meeting will be fun - at least, it usually is - and then I have to rush home and begin work on my nonprofit job, because, $$.
OH and I got confirmed as a presenter for the SAA's today! So that's good...except I need to book 3-4 nights in a hotel now and the rooms are $200/night so I'm desperately trying to find 2 more roomies (got one locked down already thank goodness) to make it somewhat manageable.
Class starting. Oy.
But I NEED to get a massive load of work done in the next week and I feel quite ill at the thought of it. Thanksgiving will spell me a breather in some ways, but not enough. Plus I don't get to be home with my family which is an instant bummer anyway. PLUS I work on Thanksgiving (volunteered because I felt guilty that if I didn't work, a coworker who DOES have family they can go to wouldn't be able to...plus I wanted the holiday pay so I could afford my Christmas tree), AND I apparently have to work Black Friday too! I was told I get my choice of shift, but the schedule is being made up today and no one asked me yesterday so I assume I await the store's pleasure. Gah!
After class I need to run home, put down my stuff, grab other stuff, download some papers to my tablet, rush off to do some errands, and make it to the Scholarship Meeting in a timely manner. Meeting will be fun - at least, it usually is - and then I have to rush home and begin work on my nonprofit job, because, $$.
OH and I got confirmed as a presenter for the SAA's today! So that's good...except I need to book 3-4 nights in a hotel now and the rooms are $200/night so I'm desperately trying to find 2 more roomies (got one locked down already thank goodness) to make it somewhat manageable.
Class starting. Oy.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Monday Blues
In the most excellent news, I have turned in my major project for my GIS class - I just have to do one more project and then I'm done with that class for the semester. Huzzah! AND there's no more lab so I don't have to get up at 6 am on Mondays anymore. Triple huzzah!!!
It was still a hard day though. It was gloriously stormy and windy (but didn't rain on me) which was gorgeous, and makes me want to write fiction almost incurably. I was so tired when I got back after lab I conked out for an hour, but then I settled down to working at my nonprofit job for a few hours before going to my retail job for the closing shift.
I'm rather grievously upset about something that happened today at work. Ten minutes before I got to go on break a woman asked me to help her find a shirt for her birthday party in some South American country farm soon. So I helped her until 5 minutes into my break when a coworker came by and I handed the lady off to her so I could get off my poor sore feet for a few minutes. (My nice new Crocs were making life much easier, but I do have plantar fasciitis and some rather nasty blisters which are seriously painful.) I take my 15 minute break and then go back on the floor...lady dismissed my coworker but asks for my help again, so I spend the next 45 minutes going through damn near every pair of pants in the store, and all the bright shirts with three-quarter sleeves that I can find, before she disappears into the dressing room. She spent at least a quarter of an hour in there and my bladder was bursting so I ran to the bathroom. I came back and saw her walking away in the direction of the bathroom, figured she'd be back...ten minutes later I go into the dressing rooms and all the stuff is left in the dressing room she was using. I hung it all up on the return bar, and started putting back the stuff she hadn't asked my opinion on but left the two pieces she had been really interested in there. Store closing rolls around...lady has just vanished.
Now, I know you're thinking, "Well it's your JOB to help people pick clothes." But...I spent over an hour of my night trying to help this lady and she didn't even accord me the courtesy of saying, "I'm not going to buy tonight," or even clean up the dressing room!! I'm not a bloody serf!!! I'm not a robot!!! I'm a HUMAN BEING WITH A SOUL AND EVERYTHING!!!
Blah.
But I did over 7 hours of work today plus class. That's something towards the bills - you won't BELIEVE how high my electricity is this month considering I haven't used my AC at all. I'm very and extremely cross about it. May unplug my wax burner. I'm kind of over it since it seems to evaporate so slowly I never get to put new wax chunks in and the nice smells do not get to happen.
I'm tired now. Going to try to write for the last half-hour before bed. If only I could publish a book and earn some money!!
It was still a hard day though. It was gloriously stormy and windy (but didn't rain on me) which was gorgeous, and makes me want to write fiction almost incurably. I was so tired when I got back after lab I conked out for an hour, but then I settled down to working at my nonprofit job for a few hours before going to my retail job for the closing shift.
I'm rather grievously upset about something that happened today at work. Ten minutes before I got to go on break a woman asked me to help her find a shirt for her birthday party in some South American country farm soon. So I helped her until 5 minutes into my break when a coworker came by and I handed the lady off to her so I could get off my poor sore feet for a few minutes. (My nice new Crocs were making life much easier, but I do have plantar fasciitis and some rather nasty blisters which are seriously painful.) I take my 15 minute break and then go back on the floor...lady dismissed my coworker but asks for my help again, so I spend the next 45 minutes going through damn near every pair of pants in the store, and all the bright shirts with three-quarter sleeves that I can find, before she disappears into the dressing room. She spent at least a quarter of an hour in there and my bladder was bursting so I ran to the bathroom. I came back and saw her walking away in the direction of the bathroom, figured she'd be back...ten minutes later I go into the dressing rooms and all the stuff is left in the dressing room she was using. I hung it all up on the return bar, and started putting back the stuff she hadn't asked my opinion on but left the two pieces she had been really interested in there. Store closing rolls around...lady has just vanished.
Now, I know you're thinking, "Well it's your JOB to help people pick clothes." But...I spent over an hour of my night trying to help this lady and she didn't even accord me the courtesy of saying, "I'm not going to buy tonight," or even clean up the dressing room!! I'm not a bloody serf!!! I'm not a robot!!! I'm a HUMAN BEING WITH A SOUL AND EVERYTHING!!!
Blah.
But I did over 7 hours of work today plus class. That's something towards the bills - you won't BELIEVE how high my electricity is this month considering I haven't used my AC at all. I'm very and extremely cross about it. May unplug my wax burner. I'm kind of over it since it seems to evaporate so slowly I never get to put new wax chunks in and the nice smells do not get to happen.
I'm tired now. Going to try to write for the last half-hour before bed. If only I could publish a book and earn some money!!
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Hiatus
So I haven't posted in awhile. Life got kinda crazy what with working two jobs, full-time classes, gym, etc.
I haven't been to the gym in awhile. I was just scheduled 5 days in a row at my retail job (sucks to that, by the way, I'm pretty mad about it) and I simply can't bear going to the gym after being on my feet and in so much pain for 5 hours or more of the day. I average about 1,800 steps per hour there. UGH.
Then yesterday I wanted to go, but I hurt my back (I was walking across my bedroom!!!) and didn't want to risk permanently disabling myself. Today it still hurt really badly, although it's much better now, so again, didn't go. I might go tomorrow and just do the stationary bike for a bit. That shouldn't hurt my back, right?
I'm also pretty mad at Sling TV right now because it's just not working and it's driving me nuts. I want to watch my football!!
Anyway, I have work to do. Hopefully I'll be able to write here a little more!
I haven't been to the gym in awhile. I was just scheduled 5 days in a row at my retail job (sucks to that, by the way, I'm pretty mad about it) and I simply can't bear going to the gym after being on my feet and in so much pain for 5 hours or more of the day. I average about 1,800 steps per hour there. UGH.
Then yesterday I wanted to go, but I hurt my back (I was walking across my bedroom!!!) and didn't want to risk permanently disabling myself. Today it still hurt really badly, although it's much better now, so again, didn't go. I might go tomorrow and just do the stationary bike for a bit. That shouldn't hurt my back, right?
I'm also pretty mad at Sling TV right now because it's just not working and it's driving me nuts. I want to watch my football!!
Anyway, I have work to do. Hopefully I'll be able to write here a little more!
Monday, October 26, 2015
Office Politics
Feeling extremely blah today. I had to miss not one but TWO awesome lectures in the department due to work, and I'm missing the reception held for the guest lecturer right now because of the presentation and essay I have due this week.
Spent most of the day on campus, going to class and working. Getting pretty cheesed off at my prof too, because he missed class again today, and the instructions for the final project are flat out WRONG in some places (and it's a HUGE project and all has to be done on campus, which is going to make my life ten times harder than usual - and it's due November 17th!!!), AND we have to be on campus for our second exam and do GIS during the exam. I am so unimpressed I can't even think of a good non-swear word to describe just how cheesed off I am right now.
Work was fine. I'm pretty stressed, so it was hard to sit through a meeting like that where we only spent an hour talking about "urgent" stuff and the other hour was spent going around the circle and talking about our individual responsibilities. I tried to relax and enjoy it, but it was hard.
Came home, went straight to the gym. Gym was pretty good except for a bunch of jerks making life difficult by cutting in on circuits, yakking away like there was no one listening, and staring at me until I wanted to scream. I got an hour and ten minutes in, although that was only because I stopped looking at my watch and forgot what the time was. I only meant to spend 50-60 minutes there. Oh well.
Came home, showered, ate leftover paella from last night. Should definitely have enough for the week, I think. Re-running the dishwasher because there's cruddy particles from the last washing. I think the little cap that holds in the soap tablets is broken too. Grr. Hopefully it still cleans alright...
Now I'm trying to bust ass on the presentation because that's for Wednesday. I'm sore and miserable and just want to go to bed. I'll go at midnight though. Being THIS stressed, not getting sleep will kill me/get me sick faster than just about anything else.
Spent most of the day on campus, going to class and working. Getting pretty cheesed off at my prof too, because he missed class again today, and the instructions for the final project are flat out WRONG in some places (and it's a HUGE project and all has to be done on campus, which is going to make my life ten times harder than usual - and it's due November 17th!!!), AND we have to be on campus for our second exam and do GIS during the exam. I am so unimpressed I can't even think of a good non-swear word to describe just how cheesed off I am right now.
Work was fine. I'm pretty stressed, so it was hard to sit through a meeting like that where we only spent an hour talking about "urgent" stuff and the other hour was spent going around the circle and talking about our individual responsibilities. I tried to relax and enjoy it, but it was hard.
Came home, went straight to the gym. Gym was pretty good except for a bunch of jerks making life difficult by cutting in on circuits, yakking away like there was no one listening, and staring at me until I wanted to scream. I got an hour and ten minutes in, although that was only because I stopped looking at my watch and forgot what the time was. I only meant to spend 50-60 minutes there. Oh well.
Came home, showered, ate leftover paella from last night. Should definitely have enough for the week, I think. Re-running the dishwasher because there's cruddy particles from the last washing. I think the little cap that holds in the soap tablets is broken too. Grr. Hopefully it still cleans alright...
Now I'm trying to bust ass on the presentation because that's for Wednesday. I'm sore and miserable and just want to go to bed. I'll go at midnight though. Being THIS stressed, not getting sleep will kill me/get me sick faster than just about anything else.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Working it out
Today was one hell of a day!
I hit my snooze button way too many times, to start with, and then I somehow made it to class on time. Class was fine, although I kept getting distracted from the lecture by the fact my professor wears his clothes at LEAST one size too large for him and I was mentally kitting him out in much more size-appropriate clothing in colors that didn't make him look washed-out. Maybe working retail IS my thing? Heh.
Had lunch, and then I went to the library and got even more books for another presentation that's due in a few weeks but I wanted to get started on early. Went to my second class, which was pretty fun today, but I was hungry and mad for some reason by the time it ended so I hit up the campus convenience store for a bag of chips which was a BAD idea. Turns out it was a 500 calorie bag of chips!!!
Walked across campus to wait for my meeting and spent a nice half hour spacing out with my tablet on my lap. People give me filthy looks if I'm lounging waiting for meetings without a book or a tablet because they seem to find it offensive that I can entertain myself by "thinking". So, I engage my tablet as a defense/deflection mechanism.
Took the bus home, but was diverted and had to walk an extra block and a bit because they've closed off the bus stop corner. REALLY? This had better not continue tomorrow. Although I think I'm driving tomorrow because of work.
Got home, changed, and went straight to the gym. Spent 35 minutes doing cardio and 20 doing weights, then had to stop and come home because of Remote Job. Stupid work, interfering with my gym-love!! I forgot how much I LOVE working out though, so glad I can afford this membership again. When I updated my Garmin Vivofit and MyFitnessPal it turned out I've walked 13,707 steps today, and between that and the exercise I have burned enough calories to compensate for EVERYTHING I've eaten today (even those chips), and have 53 left over before I hit the limit I set in order to lose a pound a week. And I didn't even record the 20 minutes I spent doing weights!
Although, I might not be able to afford it if it continues to be THIS hard to do work every day. Only did 1.5 hours today although I keep meaning to aim for 2.5 and do 2 as a "minimum". I'm going to spend a few minutes writing novels before bed in the hope that one day I'll have enough published novels to bring in an income and I'll only have to work ONE job at a time.
I'm planning to get up at 8 tomorrow, go to the gym, come home, do my daily Remote Job, go to class, go to work, and then go see Crimson Peak with one of the girls in my department. Let's hope I get that all done!
I hit my snooze button way too many times, to start with, and then I somehow made it to class on time. Class was fine, although I kept getting distracted from the lecture by the fact my professor wears his clothes at LEAST one size too large for him and I was mentally kitting him out in much more size-appropriate clothing in colors that didn't make him look washed-out. Maybe working retail IS my thing? Heh.
Had lunch, and then I went to the library and got even more books for another presentation that's due in a few weeks but I wanted to get started on early. Went to my second class, which was pretty fun today, but I was hungry and mad for some reason by the time it ended so I hit up the campus convenience store for a bag of chips which was a BAD idea. Turns out it was a 500 calorie bag of chips!!!
Walked across campus to wait for my meeting and spent a nice half hour spacing out with my tablet on my lap. People give me filthy looks if I'm lounging waiting for meetings without a book or a tablet because they seem to find it offensive that I can entertain myself by "thinking". So, I engage my tablet as a defense/deflection mechanism.
Took the bus home, but was diverted and had to walk an extra block and a bit because they've closed off the bus stop corner. REALLY? This had better not continue tomorrow. Although I think I'm driving tomorrow because of work.
Got home, changed, and went straight to the gym. Spent 35 minutes doing cardio and 20 doing weights, then had to stop and come home because of Remote Job. Stupid work, interfering with my gym-love!! I forgot how much I LOVE working out though, so glad I can afford this membership again. When I updated my Garmin Vivofit and MyFitnessPal it turned out I've walked 13,707 steps today, and between that and the exercise I have burned enough calories to compensate for EVERYTHING I've eaten today (even those chips), and have 53 left over before I hit the limit I set in order to lose a pound a week. And I didn't even record the 20 minutes I spent doing weights!
Although, I might not be able to afford it if it continues to be THIS hard to do work every day. Only did 1.5 hours today although I keep meaning to aim for 2.5 and do 2 as a "minimum". I'm going to spend a few minutes writing novels before bed in the hope that one day I'll have enough published novels to bring in an income and I'll only have to work ONE job at a time.
I'm planning to get up at 8 tomorrow, go to the gym, come home, do my daily Remote Job, go to class, go to work, and then go see Crimson Peak with one of the girls in my department. Let's hope I get that all done!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Being Responsible
I was leaving a party Saturday night (more on that later) and checked Facebook on my phone. Saw a bunch of posts about a major crash at 436/434 (some big roads near where my parents live) and got concerned, so I called home with my bluetooth hands free thing as I drove home. They were fine, thank goodness. They asked where I was calling from - I guess I sounded funny hands-free? - and I told them I was leaving a party to go home and work.
I complained, "How LAME does that make me, leaving a party early to go do work?"
Mom said, (approvingly) "I think it sounds very responsible and grown-up!"
Me: "I don't WANNA grow up!"
Mom: "You're 27!"
Me: "...still don't wanna..."
I still hate growing up. But I got my homework done and turned in this morning, went to class (got two homeworks turned back and I got a 93 on one and a 98 on the other!!!), got a bunch of books for this presentation next week, went to my scholarship meeting, was VERY BAD INDEED and got Chinese food on the way home, came home and ate, had my glorious hour of Agents of SHIELD, and then did an hour of work. I wish I'd done two, but there's just no way I could have mentally or physically handled it. As soon as I finish this I'm going straight to bed. I'm bringing a book, but I honestly don't think I'm going to read anything. I overslept by two hours this morning and STILL I'm exhausted and can't work one second longer.
This is me being responsible and taking care of my body. Because, any way you cut it, my body and my health are way more important to me than grad school.
I complained, "How LAME does that make me, leaving a party early to go do work?"
Mom said, (approvingly) "I think it sounds very responsible and grown-up!"
Me: "I don't WANNA grow up!"
Mom: "You're 27!"
Me: "...still don't wanna..."
I still hate growing up. But I got my homework done and turned in this morning, went to class (got two homeworks turned back and I got a 93 on one and a 98 on the other!!!), got a bunch of books for this presentation next week, went to my scholarship meeting, was VERY BAD INDEED and got Chinese food on the way home, came home and ate, had my glorious hour of Agents of SHIELD, and then did an hour of work. I wish I'd done two, but there's just no way I could have mentally or physically handled it. As soon as I finish this I'm going straight to bed. I'm bringing a book, but I honestly don't think I'm going to read anything. I overslept by two hours this morning and STILL I'm exhausted and can't work one second longer.
This is me being responsible and taking care of my body. Because, any way you cut it, my body and my health are way more important to me than grad school.
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