DAMN

Not much time to blog today.  Class went well, was without my knee and ankle braces and walked just fine, although the stairs were a little iffy.  Got back home, ran out to the bank for laundry quarters, ran to the thrift store for potential Halloween costumes (didn't buy anything) went home again, passed out, then woke up and started in on work.

Got a lot done - bills paid, rent paid, trash thrown out, etc.  But not nearly enough.  Also just figured out tonight that the paper I was proposing to write for my seafaring class is completely the wrong time period (what's wrong with me that it took me a whole month to realize that?!) so I have to research a whole new paper and write a proposal by 8 am Wednesday.  Plus, I have a presentation that is nowhere near finished that's also due Wednesday, and a stats paper due Thursday that I haven't started, and a test due Tuesday 10/6 that I have barely studied for because other stuff keeps getting in the damn way!!!

I'm off to shower now.  Then early bed so I can get up tomorrow and start kicking ass and taking names.  One bit of really good news though: I passed my training as a coder and now I have a job until I graduate! Hooray!!  All I need now is a second job and an amazing 36 hour burst of mental acuity (or 48 or 60, I'm not fussy) to get me through the week, and I'll be golden!

Goodbye, CSI

So I've been watching CSI since I was a senior in high school, which comes to about 9 years total.  Tonight is the very last episode ever!

Luckily I got enough work done that I can watch it with a clear conscience.  I have chicken soup simmering away on the stove and that'll be my week's lunches.  I've been feeling pretty crappy lately which is why I went for the soup.  Cheaper than a doctor, y'know?  I think I'm going to try going without my braces tomorrow.  They're just exhausting, even if they protect me.  We'll see how I manage.

Anyway, I'm quite sad CSI is ending.  I think the original is my favorite, although the early CSI:NY episodes give it a serious run for its money.  CSI:Miami was fun, but I could just never take it seriously.  I didn't even watch the last season.

I have a lot of work to do tomorrow.  But I just have morning classes, so once I get home I'll have a good lunch and read a chapter of fiction, and then get down to work.  Those little mental breaks are the only way I'm surviving this semester's grind.

The soup needs attention so I'll stop here.  I love this apartment - I can watch tv while I'm working away at the stove!

Saturday Night?

How did half the week go by without me blogging?

I'm tired after a long week, but my leg is healing, and the specialist told me my ligaments and tendons are all intact and there's no fracture and I don't need surgery or medication or anything - hooray!  So I'm very happy about that.

I've gotten some work done, but not enough.  Plus today I spent nearly five hours with my friend's cats because she's out of town and I feel sorry for them being cooped up while she's away.  The new one tortures the old one so she has to keep them in separate rooms all the time, which is awkward.

Tomorrow I'm going to go over there first thing and spend about an hour with them before going grocery shopping.  Then I'll come home and start busting ass on work and hopefully it WON'T take twelve hours this time.  I have to make chicken soup too (chicken is defrosting now), and probably some other food as well.  I haven't quite decided what to do for the week's lunches, but I might just have the chicken soup for my lunches...and do crackers, Laughing Cow cheeses, and apples for the days I have to eat on campus.  How I hate dieting!

In gorgeous news, Wednesday is the only day I have to stay late on campus this week!  All the other days I just go for class and get to leave as soon as it's over.  Assuming, of course, that some new project or something else doesn't pop up.

Tonight it's just me, a St Arnold Oktoberfest, and When Harry Met Sally.  Trying to get some writing done since it's "free" time and I desperately need to get new stuff finished so I can try to get it published. Oh, ambition. The things you lead me to do!

I had a run-in with some raspberries...

At least, that's the reason I gave for the knee brace today to a professor who was asking about my injuries.

The knee still hurts.  But I can bend it now, even if not all the way or without pain.  Waiting to see what the doctor says tomorrow. 

I've done a lot of work today, but not nearly enough.  I need to finish my R homework.  I hate my R homework.  I hate it with every fiber of my being, and if I could get away with not doing it, I wouldn't even bother with it. 

It also seriously bugs how people have been acting about my leg.  All surprised and concerned about me walking 3-4 miles a day (today I've walked 3.75 miles according to my tracker, I'm not exaggerating) on a damaged tibia, but if I'd stayed home and relaxed (like I want to) they would've been "Are you really taking this grad degree seriously?"  I know they're just trying to be nice and/or helpful...but still.  I'm being honest here, and it bugs.

Grad school in general bugs.  You have to do crazy shit like walk around with a hairline fracture in your tibia and everyone is all, "You're doing too much," and if you don't, everyone is all, "You're just not working hard enough to deserve this."  THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND.

I also would probably not be this grumpy and melodramatic if I weren't trying to do my R homework.  But I hate my R homework, grad school bugs, and I need a second job.  Or a winning lotto ticket so I can retire and build a castle and play princess or warrior queen every day, depending on my mood.  And I would absolutely pay Colin Mochrie to follow me around for a day and make me laugh.

Snakes and Ladders

Well, I got bitten by a snake.  Not literally, thankfully, but in this game of snakes and ladders, I just slid allll the way back to the start.

Yesterday I was so excited because I had an email about my dream job, and my doctor thought my knee would be fine.

This morning I got up early to call and arrange an interview...and dream job is filled.  Somehow the hiring people are still contacting applicants even though no positions are available?  There should be laws against that sort of thing.

Then I check my email and see there's a secure message waiting for me from my doctor.  I go look, and the x-rays show there is the possibility of a hairline fracture in my tibia.  GREAT.  Basically, I'm still just going to that specialist on Thursday for further evaluation, but still.

To say I'm bummed out is an understatement.

I called the HEB lady last night and this morning and left messages both times, but she hasn't called back yet, grr.  I called Stein Mart about the job, and the lady who picked up after I was on hold for 7 1/2 minutes said they'll be calling applicants about interviews next week.  Hopefully since I called and made it clear I really want this job, I'll at least get an interview.  I called Suddenlink about internet and thankfully increasing my data WILL only be $10 more per month.  So that's one tiny ray of light in a dark day.

I've hobbled around and made myself a hot sandwich (egg, bacon and Swiss) for breakfast which was a mistake in hindsight because now my apartment smells like bacon which makes me want to eat even though I'm not hungry.  Did all my dishes, took out the trash, plants watered, etc.  Now I need to do homework and I was just staring at the blinking cursor so I came here to write out my frustration.  Hopefully I can concentrate now.

I just want to sleep for the next four years, wake up with my MA, PhD, and a decent job.

Slippery Slope

Well, I've had an "interesting" weekend.

I decided to go grocery shopping Saturday afternoon (meant to go to the movies Saturday night and have all Sunday to work), and made out my list and trotted off cheerfully.  For some reason I turned down the organic food aisle (presumably Fate drew me there) and suddenly I felt my left leg go and wound up on my butt on the floor.  Some genius had left raspberries all over the floor and I didn't see them (looking at the produce rather than the floor, as I normally do in grocery stores), and slipped and fell. 

Some people helped me (thank you, Man-Whose-Name-I-Didn't-Get and Family-That-Got-The-Manager-For-Me!!) and eventually I was standing again (if shaky) and gave HEB my information.

I managed to get my groceries without crying too much (I was in shock...I HATE being in shock!), and got home to my knee brace and spent the rest of the night on my couch, feeling grumpy that I was missing the movie I wanted see so much.

Sunday I worked my ass off from noon to 12:30 am and was nearly in tears by the time I got to shower and go to bed.  And then I couldn't sleep!!!  But I got up at 6:30 am (half an hour later than I needed to, but oh well) and missed the first bus to campus, but managed to get a seat on the second one.  Made my classes (some of my classmates commiserated over my knee, which I thought was very sweet of them) and then got some lunch at the MSC before going to the doctor's. 

The doctor was very nice indeed, and he THINKS my knee is ok but he scheduled a follow-up with an orthopedic specialist on Thursday, got me a new knee brace, and sent me downstairs for x-rays.  The entire visit cost $109, and I'm hoping I can get HEB to cover at least part of this.  My friends have been telling me to sue, but I don't know if they really think I could get "a jet and a tropical island" or if they're just joking.  I'm perfectly sure I couldn't get anything like that out of a big corporation like that!  But a couple hundred bucks to pay medical care is a mere nothing to them and I hope they'll help a girl out.

Tomorrow I have to call Suddenlink about increasing my data rate, arrange an interview with my dream job (got an email today telling me what to do, hooray!), call HEB again (the woman called me when I was in class but she never picked up the three times I called her back), and send some emails regarding my thesis and classes.  I feel like there's other things I need to do.  Oh well.  I'll get it all done somehow.  (I hope!)

No More Red Wine

Well, I'm bummed out.

When I was 15 I could drink gallons of red wine, no issues. As the years have worn on, I've begun to gravitate towards whites and blush wines, but still enjoyed a glass of red. This summer I had red wine twice and puked both times, although I thought it was because I had been drinking beer all day and followed dinner/wine with liqueur. But last night I was at Opera Night, had two glasses of red during intermission, and not a drop of alcohol else since the beer with dinner the night before, and I developed a migraine, then barely managed to make it home and across the living room to the kitchen sink before hurling.  I managed to take an ibuprofen and aspirin, then went to bed, praying to either sleep or die, whichever was quicker.  Woke up feeling MUCH better, thankfully.

Apparently you can totally develop wine (and dark beer??) sensitivities at any age and my girlfriends have been warning me about either their or their husband's issues, which range from no reds, or no wines with sulfites, to any wine drinking leading to vomiting and terrible headaches, or "a few sips" leading to LOCKJAW.

This sucks.  I no longer want to grow up.  I disapprove of this situation, and am only gloomily happy that they all say they can cook with wine and feel no ill effects. My coq au vin is safe...for now.

Halloween begins!

Went to the dollar store today to pick up a few little things and was set afire by all the Halloween, harvest, and Christmas(!!) stuff on sale. 

I got what I needed, came home and did some cleaning, went to class, came home, went to Wal Mart to get an ankle brace, then came home again.  I got some work done and then decided it was time to goof off, and started cutting and sewing my Halloween costume.  I'm SO excited about it!!  I've gotten the shoulders and one sleeve fitted, and would've done the second sleeve but my shoulder was hurting so badly I had to stop.  Tomorrow I'm going to make the time to fit the second sleeve and hopefully the hood, and maybe even finish the side seams!!  (I kind of doubt I'll get that far, I have a lot of work to do.)  Then I'll have to hem everything and then strengthen all the seams as I only have them with running stitch right now, and I'll have to go back and do backstitching on everything, as small and strong as my fingers and temper can manage.

I'm taking this moment to thank my mom for teaching me how to sew and make up clothes, and my father for teaching me to get what I want in the most affordable and sensible way I can.  I got the fabric for $15 (thanks to a very generous coupon!) and I've had the needles and I bought the thread ages ago and I don't remember how much it cost, but since I have it, I'm using it.


The mask will probably happen next weekend.  I want to make a pouch too, and that's going to take some work and planning, I think.  I've certainly never tried anything like it before!  But I've given myself a lot of time, and I think it'll all be ready and in good order for Halloween.  Yay!

Ouch

My shoulder is still killing me.  I took ibuprofen and everything and I still ache all over.  I walked over 12,000 steps today on a sore ankle, I typed all day with a sore shoulder, and I'm exhausted.  I had class all day, and meetings, and I'm just in a foul mood at this point.

I still need to do a lot of work, but not tonight.  It's time to relax, and watch the newly-released season 3 of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries and let my nerves loosen.  I really hope a good night's sleep will make me easy and my body relax and heal.

DAY = MADE

I was about to come on and write a bleh post about a long, difficult day..and then a notification popped up - TED ALLEN from CHOPPED tweeted me!!!!!  And I didn't even tweet him first!!!

https://twitter.com/TheTedAllen/status/643973501964189697

That's the link.  Not sure how long it'll last, but THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!

*dances*

I DID have a long, bleh day.  Worked my ass off on stats, hurt my shoulder, went to class, applied for more jobs, went to training, came home, ate leftovers, and now I'm watching Chopped for an hour before getting back to work.

It's the little things in life!!

The Attention Paradox

Isn't it amazing how the minute something gets REALLY important to you, it becomes progressively more and more difficult to focus on it?!

Today after class I went to the Aggie Employment Office and the guy told me I was doing exactly what I needed to do, which was kind of disappointing, because I was hoping for some secret inside track to a decent job (i.e. not humiliating a la fast food, not gross a la fast food, and not absolute minimum wage a la fast food).  On the plus side, he did check, see that I am eligible for Work/Study, and put me on the waiting list for Work/Study funds which will make me more attractive to campus employers.  So yay for that?

Came home, ate, and passed out.  Woke up boiling hot and sweating all over, terrified from some nightmare I couldn't even remember.  Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time focusing right now.

I DID apply for three more jobs, and will apply for another tomorrow (have to apply in person, bleh), and I've signed up for this website that pays you for your photographs - that is, if someone buys it to use as a stock photo or in a media campaign.  I must go out and find a botanical garden to get a lot of that sort of thing.  Wondering if I can afford some sort of model for person stock photos?  I could always use myself and a remote/timer.

I have some stats homework but I can't figure it out so I've put it aside until tomorrow morning (due tomorrow afternoon), hoping that a decent night's sleep will sort me out.  I've read that worksheet four times and only in the past ten minutes has it begun to make any sense whatsoever.  I'm so dozy right now I had to look at my planner three times to make sure today is the 14th.  No good state to be doing homework in!

In crappy news, I'm going to have to up my data cap on Suddenlink (only found out at 6:30 pm today so I'll call them tomorrow morning), which is going to be MORE money every month.  My email said it's just $10/mo.  This had better be true.  But if I don't up it, I'll start getting fined for exceeding the cap, so I'm going to pay one way or the other.

And finally, I have developed a GIANT zit right in the middle of my face and it's driving me insane because I touch it every time I rub my eyes or scratch my nose and it's big and ugly and I feel like everyone is staring at me!  I'm 27.  This is supposed to be OVER!!!  Okay.  Time to use this "free" time for some research and writing.  Oy.

Hashtag Exhaustion

I'm BEAT.

Been working like crazy all week, and my only time off was yesterday, when I still managed to get 400 photos edited and some paperwork done/emails sent off.  Worked my ass off all today too, and just sent off the goods.  Now I need to do the dishes, shower, and get to bed.

I did have one nice thing happen though - when I got home from grocery shopping this morning I saw the cutest little roadrunner bopping around the complex!

He wasn't too keen on me getting a photo of him, but he was just too cute!  Later, when I was grilling, some cardinals and bluejays kept flying down and then disappearing as soon as I stepped out the door.  I wish they would realize I'm trying to be their friend - I mean, I do put food out for them all the time, and try to take their picture, and I have no designs on grilling them along with my chicken thighs!!

At least the weather has cooled down and I can have the windows open right now.  It's really gorgeous and I love having the fresh air in my apartment, instead of stale food smells.

I really need a job.  I've been applying here, there, and everywhere, and nothing!  I'm going to make some follow-up phone calls and emails tomorrow after class.  Mom has agreed to help me for October if I can't get both ends to meet, but I NEED a second job (and goodness knows, maybe a third) ASAP.  And to publish a book.  It's only been a week since I sent off my  novel so I have to wait for three more before I send it elsewhere.

It's the Jewish New Year tonight.  I was invited to some services but I couldn't go because of the work.  Sigh. 

Also, I found that the Metropolitan Opera has a streaming service you can access through Roku and I'm DYING to get it, but it's $15/mo which works out to nearly $200/yr and I just don't have that...not while I have Netflix and Amazon Prime and I'm not shuffling those off.

Oh well.  I have my windows open, Standards/Vocal Jazz Radio playing on Pandora on my tv, and it's time to clean up that kitchen, do the dishes, and get ready for bed.  How I loathe early rising!  On Mondays most of all!!!

The Many Labors of Labor Day

Today has SUCKED.

I was good and went upstairs last night at 11:20 pm, and was showered and in bed by 11:50 pm (a minor miracle, let me assure you), and I slept pretty well, all things considered, but I still had to get up at 6 am (alarm rang right in the middle of a GORGEOUS dream that I have written down and will eventually turn into a murder mystery) and drag myself into clothes and then downstairs and get myself fed and out the door by 7.  I somehow managed to get out by 6:50 (still not sure how I managed that) and the first bus of the day came by at 7:10 and I got to my building by 7:24 for my 8 am class.  Oh well.  Better than being late!

I got into class early (it's a lab and you pretty much just work at your own pace) expecting to get in, get done, and get out so I could go doze on a nice shady bench, but the assignment didn't post until 8:00 exactly, grr, and THEN the system was running so slowly and screwing up so hard I had to restart once and close all my programs and start over multiple times.  I finished an assignment that would normally take me 25-30 minutes tops in AN HOUR AND A HALF.

I did sit on a bench for ten minutes getting my filtered Vitamin D for the day.  But then I went to lecture and virtuously took paper notes again in an attempt to stop myself from getting distracted by Facebook in class...lecture was boring, and I was so zonked by the end of it I didn't stop in the lobby and check my email like I'd intended to see if there was a training meeting notification.

Took the bus home, had a gorgeous homemade ham and Swiss sandwich, and then conked out for two and a half hours.  Got downstairs, checked my email and found out I'd missed the departure luncheon for my favorite prof, which was held at lunch today.  I am SO angry!  Partially at myself for not checking my email after 6 am or before 3 pm, but mostly at them for choosing a luncheon on such a STUPID day.  I know I'm not the only one who had a ridiculous, exhausting weekend after a ridiculous, exhausting week.  Why not have it on Friday??  Or even Wednesday??

That wasn't the last bomb my email held for me - my job has finally chosen a day for training, and of course they chose the least convenient time for me, late Tuesday evening.  Then I check my next email and the scholarship group I'm a part of has suddenly changed their minds and we're not meeting on Fridays now, but Tuesday afternoons.  I emailed them explaining the training situation, but I don't know what's going to happen.  I'm really cross about all of this because I look like a major flake and that is SO not the damn case!!

Finally, after applying for a much wanted assistantship nearly two weeks ago, I sent a polite follow-up on Sunday after I didn't hear anything back before then, and today I get her reply, saying oh I can still apply, she's interviewing this week!  I nearly cried from vexation, but attached all the appropriate paperwork again and politely asked her to let me know if she needed anything further.

I was so mad I went to Stein Mart and found two very appropriate and grown-up business casual tops, in leaf green and dark blue, and a nice blue shirt for class, all for $18, and picked up an application too.  I really don't want retail, as I need to be able to travel as necessary for my degree work, but it's beginning to be a case of beggars not being choosers!

So now I need to get all my research homework done, and then as much of  my presentation for Wednesday as possible because now unless I drag my laptop and a mass of heavy library books to campus with me, I won't have any time at all on Tuesday afternoon to work on it as I planned!

And I expected such a simple, quiet week, where I could edit my pictures from this weekend's concert and post them and have a lovely time sleeping and eating like a normal human.  Ha!  Famous last words.

First Friday

It's the first Friday of the semester and I'm already a mess.  Freaking out over money (going to have to take well over $1,000 out of my retirement savings to pay my credit card which DESTROYS me, but hell, I'm a grad student and this happens right?  It sure seems to happen to all my friends!), my new job doesn't start til next week at earliest, and I haven't gotten a second job yet despite all the applications I've sent in/filled out/etc.  I NEED that second job but OH how I want a campus job!!  Preferably an assistantship!

I also need health insurance but I'm reluctant to pull that trigger until I'm 100% sure an assistantship won't happen. Will probably force myself into it next week.

Today I slept in (let's be honest - I turned off my alarm, turned over, and slept on like the dead.  Insomnia bit me so hard Tuesday I only had a couple hours sleep, and although I slept for nearly 6 whole hours Wednesday I was still dying most of Thursday), and found that my freezer had popped open and stayed open about 4 millimeters all night.  Now I'm petrified for fear what my electricity bill will be this month!  At least I won't use much electricity while I'm on campus working all the time.

Then I took my bike in to the bike shop.  I broke a brake on Wednesday swerving to avoid some ******** who decided walking in front of a cyclist going full-tilt around a corner was a good idea, so I found a bike shop and drove my bike there.  Had such a hell of a time getting it in the back seat (I swear some of my upholstery is ruined and I have no money for a carwash or anything) I caved and bought a bike rack for the car (it's a very nice one, and reasonably simple to set up), so my total came to $86.  GAH.  But I NEED my bike, and this way I can take it to get fixed when I need to, or, as is more likely, now that I've dropped the $$ on the rack I'll never do anything that I can't fix myself, and it'll be useless.

Then I came home and put some money into my credit card and had a minor freakout over it, but let's face it, those savings are there for emergencies.  I was sufficiently freaked out I up and sent my novel to another big London agency.  Will it EVER get taken?  I might just wait 4 weeks instead of the usual 6 to send it to someone else.  I have some very rude words mentally stored up for the industry that is constantly rejecting my work but publishing illogical, un-literary pap like Twilight.

Now I'm taking a break from struggling with my homework (I MUST finish and turn in this one assignment before I go to Austin this weekend!!) to write this, and then back to that essay.  Once that's done, I'm going to set up my powerpoint for my presentation on Wednesday and then I'll give myself an hour or so to work on a different novel, the one I plan to self-publish and try and get my nom d' plume out there.

Okay.  Back to that essay.  I can DO this! 


...I hope.