Everything I ever wanted

So it's 3 o clock in the morning and I'm at my desk, listening to NPR.  To my right, half-a-dozen paintings are gleaming with fresh paint, and my water cups are dry and holding newly cleaned brushes.  My bedding is "turned down" with my teddy bear waiting patiently, and a water glass and my kindle are set ready on the bedside table.

I haven't had a very good week.  Let's be honest: this hasn't been the greatest year thus far.  I've been ill for most of these three months, my work has been kicking my ass, and I haven't been exactly graceful through it all. 

But tonight, I talked to my friends (albeit online instead of in person), I watched silly television shows, I painted paintings and sketched potential cover art for the book I plan to (self) publish this week...I listened to NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and knew most of the answers, and I cooked myself a yummy dinner in my quiet studio apartment.

And it hit me - this apartment, this education, the painting, the writing, the rinsing my paint jars while listening to the news on the radio...that part was everything I ever wanted when I was younger.  I wanted an apartment and independence and art and culture...and now I have all of that...well, independence of a sort, I still feel awful about the fact I'm not earning right now, even though I have some work coming up in April. 

Of course, the things that are going badly are what I really need to work on.  But I'm taking my mom's advice and taking this weekend off.  And on Monday I will start tackling my thesis again, even though it is my spring break.  And maybe I will drive to San Diego and go to the zoo.  And if that "winter storm" stays away I'll go to the beach.  And maybe I'll do a nature walk at a nearby national park.  Or find somewhere I can pan for gold - there must be a touristy place to do that somewhere.

I have to say though, I still want that super hot, caring, loving, smart, funny, interesting boyfriend.  One who likes sports, and music, and will at least tolerate plays/ballet/the opera enough to take me once in awhile.  God, are you listening?  Please have him be dark-haired and have a decent name.  No Neptunes or Septimuses.  Oh, and have him like junk food AND real food - and be open to expensive beers and wines.  And if he can not like coffee and tea like me that'd be awesome.  If he likes HGTV and home renovations and gardening that would also be a plus. 

Yeah, that list could go on for awhile...I'll say goodnight now!